Newsletter Articles

Empowering Children
By Denise McGuire, Parent Outreach

"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all."
Anna Quindlen

It is so important that children have many encouraging experiences that send the message that they are competent, successful individuals. What do you say and do with children that sends the message 'You are capable'?

When we, as parents or teachers...

• 'direct' children, we take away an opportunity for them to feel capable. By giving very detailed instructions we create a situation where the child is only permitted to do it our way to be successful. Try instead to invite children to do things in their own way and acknowledge the uniqueness that results.
• 'rescue' children by providing them with answers to prevent them from making a mistake, we take away an opportunity for them to discover the information for themselves. Try instead to encourage children to solve problems by exploring the task at hand. Asking a question that contains the words “What? Where? or How?” is a good place to begin.
• 'expect', we want children to achieve our standards. Try instead to celebrate achievements by recognizing progress made. Notice the process that the child used to accomplish that progress.
• 'assume', we think that we already know how well a child will do in a situation. Try instead to check it out. The easiest way to do that is to ask the child what they think about the progress they made.

Use opportunities to build into children’s vocabulary the words, "I am… I can… I have…" These beginnings create very powerful phrases over time. They remind children how successful they are based on their concept of competence. Communicating this self-worth to youth may be one of the easiest but most important things you do.

RAEYC - Newletter, Issue 5 - January 2005